Back to School

As we speak, I am aboard my private jet (a.k.a. a bus) to Athens, Ohio to begin my final year of college. Things have been pretty quiet around Rockin’ Redlegs the past few days because we’ve been very busy as we’ve prepared for the new school year. Today, however, is not just the first day of school for me, but it is also the beginning of the 2011-2012 school year at Redlegs University. If you haven’t already enrolled, check out the Course Catalog for America’s first professional baseball university. Class is in session!

Intro to Music Appreciation
Professor: Bronson Arroyo
Teaching Assistant: Matt Maloney
Prerequisites: A hunger for rock

In this survey, Professor Arroyo will demonstrate and educate students on the finer points of music appreciation. The course will span from the classical era to modern pop, with a major focus on 90’s grunge-era rock. Weekly assignments will include listening responses and purchasing Professor Arroyo’s hit album, “Covering the Bases.”

New Media and Social Networking
Professor: Brandon Phillips
Prerequisites: None (#ALLREADY)

This course is all about the social networking technologies of the new era. Professor Phillips will educate students on how to most effectively use social networking, with a heavy emphasis on Twitter. Special topics of study will include using hashtags (#), Follow Fridays, and contests and giveaways. The final project will include demonstrating mastery of social networking. Follow your professor  – @DatDudeBP – before class starts for extra credit! Guest speakers will include Mike Leake, Sam LeCure, and Dontrelle Willis.

Advanced Quantum Velocity and Control
Professor: Aroldis Chapman
Teaching Assistant: Juan “Porky” Lopez
Prerequisites: Intro to Off-Speed

In this upper-level course, Professor Chapman will go into detail about the theories of velocity, power, and breaking the speed of sound. After studying the theories, students will be asked to demonstrate control over these properties to harness the proper amount of velocity and power in their everyday use of these concepts.

The Lord and You
Professor: Chris Heisey
Prerequisites: World Religions

This course is offered out of the school of Classics and Religions as a way of further exploring your relationship with the Lord. Professor Heisey will cover ways to establish a deeper relationship with Jesus in all aspects of your life, professionally and personally.

Recreational Studies: Intro to Hunting
Professor: Homer Bailey
Prerequisites: None

In this course, Professor Bailey will teach the basic introductory points of stalking, luring, shooting, and capturing wild animals. This survey will demonstrate the most effective way to use weapons for this purpose, ranging from primitive techniques to newer equipment. Professor Bailey will also review techniques for hunting each specific type of animal, from quail to big game.

Coping with Loss
Professor: Dontrelle Willis
Prerequisites: Accepting Failure (Professor Volquez)

Offered from the School of Psychology, this course teaches the most effective methods to continue through life after dealing with multiple experiences of loss and disappointment. This course educates students on how to maintain personal sanity while developing acceptance and transforming these negative experiences into personal growth.

Introduction to Retail
Professor: Mike Leake
Prerequisites: None

In this course, Professor Leake will review the ins-and-outs of effectively creating a successful retail environment. Professor Leake, once a hardened criminal, has transformed himself in order to educate students on how to prevent crime in their stores. This course will have a heavy emphasis on shoplifting and how detrimental it can be to a retailer.

American History (Through Facial Hair)
Professor: Sam LeCure
Teaching Assistant: Corky Miller
Prerequisites: American History

No educational team at Redlegs University is more qualified in their field as Professor LeCure and Teaching Assistant Miller. Together, these two educational giants will provide an in-depth look at American History through facial hair. The pair will begin in early America, focusing on facial hair of Native Americans and the early settlers. They will pay special attention to many Civil War soldiers, especially General Burnside, who was one of the greatest pioneers in facial hair fashion. They will continue throughout the major historical periods, examining facial hair in popular culture.

Sign Language
Professor: Ryan Hanigan
Teaching Assistant: Mark Berry
Prerequisites: Some advanced training required

Sign language is known the world over as a way of communicating nonverbally. In this course, Professor Hanigan will teach students to form meaning through hand gestures and other bodily motions. Special topics include change-up, slider, and fastball. TA Berry will also help to communicate stealing, suicide squeezes, and sacrifice flies. This course is very fast-paced and the signs change every day.

The faculty and staff of Redlegs University hope you join us for these and many other exciting classes! Have a wonderful school year!

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