An Open Letter to the Chicago Cubs
How ya doing? We heard you’re in the midst of a five-game winning streak! Good for you! It feels good to get a little winning streak going, doesn’t it? We’re happy for you that you’re getting a little taste of some wins, after failing to win more than three games in a row all year. After all, at 15 games back, you’re about as much of a threat to us as
the Houston Astros frogs are to Chuck Norris.
In the past, the Reds-Cubs rivalry was a big one. I’m a little too young to fully understand the rivalry between the Reds and the Cubs – I think we were competing for the title of worst team in baseball? However, in recent years, the Reds got good and you Cubs stayed pretty much the same. Now, I’d like to think of our two teams as having a very special relationship within the National League Central Division. When we play one another, we win and you lose. Sure, we’ll throw you a win every once in a while, but largely, the Reds are going to beat you. After all, you guys are the “Lovable Losers”, right? Well, your friends over in Ohio really love it when you lose, so if you could please keep that going, we’d really appreciate it.
After all, if you’re not going to win it all, you might as well help another team do so. In the words of Harry Caray, “What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.”
We meet again, you freak.
GO REDS NO CUBS!